This week my mind has been on previous posts, previous wants and desires for my life and writing. Thus I thought I’d update those who read these musing. I’m still beginning. I’m trying to *Begin* each day with a new sense of wonder and awareness (wakefulness?). I’m amazed at how many days I have been awake but never really aware. Every minutes counts because those minutes never return. Once gone, they are past. Right now, this second, is all that we really have. The past is gone; the future is just a possible dream. How do I live moment to moment both in my life and my writing? Maybe I should have named this blog Just My Life instead of A Writer’s Life.
In reality, however, how much distance lies between where I live my life and where I write. Not much, I think.
I still haven’t eliminated those seven phrases from my life. The difference is that now I am aware when I am speaking them. Not aware enough in advance to stop myself but aware enough to realize what I’ve just said. And awareness brings change. Just as awareness of not writing will eventually bring writing.
I write all the time – in my head. It’s just the putting the words on paper that is problematic. I can’t live my best life when my surroundings are in turmoil. I continue to streamline, clean, organize. What I still need and look forward to is solitude. I love my children but I need alone time. I need time to regroup from being out in the world every day, time to just let the hours slip away unnoticed, to lose myself in a book or a project.
The book I’m reading now is As Simple As Snow by Gregory Galloway. At first thought, snow does seem simple. White flakes, millions and millions of drops of frozen water, but isn’t snow something so much more? The miracle of millions of different snowflakes, the cycle of water rising into the sky and coming back frozen, white, like a million tiny bits of lace, changing the look of the world.
So my life is both simple as snow and as amazing as a million flakes changing the world. Each day I seek to be simpler, cleaner, more awake and aware, letting my writing seep up like water from a spring, gradually filling me again.