Quote of the Da…

Quote of the Day –

“The ‘tone’ of your life is more often than not a reflection of your current attitudes and beliefs. How is your outlook? It will determine your outcomes. If you want to change the results you’re currently getting, then it begins by changing your thoughts, beliefs and viewpoints.”
Rachel Denning Blogging on Care2

Today while re-reading Ms. Denning’s blog, I felt the need to come here and quote her beautiful words; words so simple and clear and yet earthshattering.  How many times have I read/heard/thought the very same words and yet they never once made the impression upon me that they do today.  Maybe then I wasn’t ready to change, wasn’t ready to become the writer I’ve always known I would be.  Could it be that from the moment I started putting pen, -well pencil in those days – to paper I never really understood what those stories inside me meant?  I know I never understood myself, who I was, why I was and why so much pain would be allowed into my universe.  Perhaps it was the pain that kept me locked up inside myself.  I know it was hard, so very hard, to confront my character’s pain because I couldn’t confront my own.  Who was I to hold their pain up to the world when I couldn’t even hold my own?

And so I come to meditate on the tone of my life.  In the past, my life was one of turmoil and confusion and fear and simple desperation.  It’s hard being manic depressive when nobody knows – not even me.  When I finally came to the realization that, much as I had changed and improved my life over the years, my life would never be fully mine without help, I broke down.  I’d been raised that you never asked for help, you NEVER admitted anything was wrong, you never talked about anything happening inside the family outside.  In fact, you never talked about it at all.  I remember my childhood in pictures.  I don’t remember the times between the pictures, at least I didn’t.  Some has been coming back over the last years, for good or bad.  But only after I lied to my Doctor’s office that I was fatigued in order to get an appointment.  Embarrassing as it sounds, I was ashamed to tell the receptionist I was depressed.  Luckily, I have a good Doctor whom I trusted enough to admit the truth and who had been with me in my battle ever since.

So here is the tone of my life.  My life has been an uphill struggle, a battle against things I didn’t understand.  Children shouldn’t have to struggle against adult concepts but they do.  I did.  And yet my life has always been a battle because, as Ms Denning so rightly points out, my” outlook determines my outcomes.”

Later in the blog she says:

Life is what you make it.  You can choose to embrace abundance, peace, beauty and love and in the process bring more of those things to you. Or you can choose poverty, worry, disgust and hate, and continue through your own hating to bring more of it to you.  The choice is yours.  It starts today.  It starts now, by choosing to change your thoughts from low energy to high energy.

Thank you, Ms Denning, for bringing me the words I needed today. I struggled with this concept when it was nameless in my mind, but today I have been blessed with the words.  I embrace abundance, peace, beauty and love.  I ask it into my life to help me ‘begin’ again.

What do you choose?

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