Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It’s hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your children something that says, “I was thinking of you today.”
As I went through Day 3 of the Love Dare, I realized several things. One is that my sons and I hardly spend any time together anymore. We live in the same house, but in our own little bubbles. Of course, they are 24 and 19 so that goes a long way to explaining the lack of contact. We are all off in our own worlds, doing our own things. Living separately in the same house. Another was remembering the truth that the more you invest in something, the more it (or they) mean in your life. I remember the years I invested in their care and raising. Not every mother chooses to put aside her life for her kids. Mine did and so I did the same for my sons. I have never regretted that decision, but is it wrong to want, now, to have that life back? They will always be my kids, I will always be invested, but shouldn’t the time come when they are off into their own l lives? Their doctor calls this ‘a failure to launch.’ This tells me I need to rebuild the launch pad and find some different fuel as quickly as possible!
I know I am off the subject of the Love Dare, but when the thoughts come, they come. As for the Dare for the 30th of October, I bought my son two sodas, something that I rarely ever buy because of the cost and because I refuse to pick up all the cans and bottles left around the house.
We had a quiet day, my son and I. I refrained from saying anything on the negative. I also didn’t ask him to help me with anything today which, I’m guessing, was an act of kindness in his book. Also, without even thinking about the money it will cost, I told him that we would go see the new Dracula movie either Friday or Saturday. We rarely go to movies together because I refuse to pay so much for a movie I can watch for free a year or so down the line. Looking forward to our ‘date.’
If we want to live a large life, then we ourselves must become large.
In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.
What is desirable in a man is his kindness. (Proverbs 19:22)
Looking back on yesterday, I did a huge amount of work, but I really didn’t do any unexpected gesture of kindness towards my sons. I was very careful not to break Day 1, but lost out on Day 2. So I will do Day 2 over again today, actively looking for the way to do one unexpected act of kindness for my son.
(I say son because the oldest went away for the rest of the week.)
“For the Next Day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your children at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It’s better to hold your tongue than to say something you’ll regret” (The Love Dare, 4.)
Today, I started the Love Challenge. I was at work for 8 hours, so I didn’t spend a lot of time with my sons, but in the time I did, I tried not to be negative. It would have been easy to be angry and lash out when my son overslept and didn’t pick me up from work on time. Instead, I said nothing except, jokingly, that I didn’t save any onion rings for him. I felt some sympathy since he’d been at work from 4:00 AM through 12. When I needed things done – even if I’d been asking for weeks – I didn’t get angry, but instead stayed firm and matter-of-fact.
All and all, today was an easy day. We shall see what tomorrow brings.
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.