There was a speck of truth to its words, much as I hated to admit it. Kings were dropping like flies, but I’m not surprised. King are like flies – tiny, buzzing, annoying little shits that, remarkably, eat just about anything. You’ll notice I did not point out flies actually eat shit, but I guess I just did, didn’t I?
“You have a certain..point,” I admitted, leaning back against the stone, one hand thoughtfully on my chin. “On the other hand, I’ve heard some of the denizens of your ilk are having a bit of a rough time nowadays.”
I tapped my finger against my lip. “Did Medusa’s snakes get into a humdinger and kill themselves? Bad hair day…. bad, bad, hair day.” I shook my head as if I felt their pain. “And Cyclops? Fell off a cliff? I understand he couldn’t swim.. Blind in one eye and….well…. blind.
“What about the ‘one-eyed, one-horned, flyin’ purple people eater?’ Did you hear? He ate a bad person and the indigestion killed him.”
“No point, just making conversation.”
A huff, somewhere between a snort and a sneeze was it’s only answer.
“Shall I go on?”
Another huff, this one a clearing of the throat.
“Bad time for monsters.” I raised my hands in a ‘what can you do’ gesture.
“Whatta ya wnt?”
“Well, since we were speaking of Kings dying and monsters with excessive troubles, I was thinking we might come to some accommodation.” I held up a hand to forestall the interruption wiggling on its tongue. “Nothing much… I am not an unreasonable man.
Motioning it close, I put an around it’s neck and lowered my voice. “Here’s what we are going to do.” For a moment, it froze as the dagger sank into flesh, severing its spine. Letting out a brief little “whum,” it crumpled to the ground.
Since it was never smart to assume in regards to monsters, I waited until the end. Bad, bad, day for monsters. After all, it had been stupidly simple to lure Cyclops right on off that cliff.