What Does Valentines Day Mean To Me II?

I discovered this in my To Post pile and realized I’d forgotten to post it on the appropriate day. So, instead of waiting another year, I decided to just put it out there anyway.  Just pretend its February 14 again – at least for a few moments.

If you’d like to read the original post, you can find it here -https://athling2001.wordpress.com/2015/02/15/what-does-valentines-day-mean-to-me/

 


Having gone back to read what I’d written two years ago about the holiday upon us, I was surprised by the few corrections I needed, or wanted, to make. I know, you expected me to say something deep and profound about love and how my feeling had changed since them.

Sadly, I can’t tell you those things unless I’m writing fiction and today I’m not doing fiction. At least here. Okay, so I feel the same way.

Demi-holiday – check

Commercialized – check

History – check

Why – check

My truth about the holiday – check.

So, you ask, why am I writing yet another post about Valentine’s Day.

To be honest, I’m not sure. Maybe just to review my feeling about the Day and it’s message. Maybe to point out to myself that I am still ‘alone’ and doing fine. Or maybe to make fun so I don’t have to admit feeling so alone.

Better. Happier. That yes, I am meant to find somebody who loves me and doesn’t attempt to control me. Who lets me be myself without feeling threatened. Who trusts me even if he doesn’t understand me.

Boy, I’m asking a lot. Or maybe I’m just one of those people meant to be alone. I love my solitude, don’t get me wrong, my independence, but  it seems to frighten other people away (i.e. men).

Or maybe I just want to bitch awhile. Whatever. I am alone (if I can say that with two adult children living at home) and I am happy. I am lonely and at peace. I desire – need – my solitude and yet, deep inside, some part of me is afraid to be alone.

While scrolling on Facebook, I get irritated when people talk about their great life and great things they’ve done to ad-nauseum. It’s a kind of envy, I suppose. Why does she/he/it have such a perfect life when all I have to post is stupid cartoons or pictures of horses? Why does everyone around me seem to fall into relationships so effortlessly and I don’t?

So, you can probably guess my view of the day hasn’t changed a lot. By the way, I have to slip to Facebook now to see how my stupid cartoons and horse pictures are doing.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

 

2 thoughts on “What Does Valentines Day Mean To Me II?

  1. “I get irritated when people talk about their great life and great things they’ve done to ad-nauseum.” Yes – I know that feeling, Connie! And, I usually remind myself that they only post 1/2 of the story, only the “good” stuff, and we have no way of knowing what the cost has been for them to have the seeming perfect life. There is *always* a down side, or at least that is what I have found as I ask the person more about their seeming idyllic accomplishment.
    (But it is an unfortunate side effect of FB that one often feels worse, not better, after being on it. I’ve actually stepped back from FB after realizing this was happening more than I wanted it to. Know that you are not alone!)

    Like

  2. I know there is the hidden side, but sometimes that is hard to see because… well it is hidden. Then again I tell myself, ‘It is what it is.’ I don’t use Facebook much either simply because something had to give. Facebook or Blog and the blog does so much more for my writing:)

    On the other hand, there are those who seem to use Facebook just to whine and complain. Don’t miss those either.

    Thanks for the words of encouragement.

    Like

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