Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.
She waded into the cold water, minnows squiggling around bare toes, smooth pebbles flat and round beneath her feet. It might have been any day, in any month, in any life, but it wasn’t. It was this day, this month, her life, and she hated the fact it was so.
He’d never of killed himself, and the people who thought he had were just stupid. Nobody understood how she felt, not even her mother.
“I know he was a good friend, Jenny, but you’ll get over it.”
It? He wasn’t an it. His death wasn’t an it. Nothing in her life was an it.
“You’ll make plenty of other friends.”
She didn’t want other friends. She wanted him.
Somebody splashed down the creek towards her. A boy her age, hair tousled, face touched with mud.
“Found some crawdads,” he said, holding out a tin can.
She snorted. “Crawdads don’t live around here.”
He grinned, something familiar in his smile. “Wanna bet?”
Please feel free to answer these questions on your blog or in the responses. If you leave me a link to your post, I will re-post it on my blog. You can also feel free to forward these questions to anybody who might be interested. Thank you to those who have already shared their thoughts.
What am I waiting for? In my life? My day? Moment to moment? Am I waiting for some assumed future event to make all things in my life right? To be able to say, “Now, things are going to be okay.”
If I am waiting for those theoretical events in my future, then I will be waiting my life away. The time when I say, “Everything in my life will be perfect now,” will never come. The most I can expect is moments of perfection, moments when I can sit back and go, “Right this minute, I know what happiness means.”
I had moments like that this past weekend. Flashes of perfection. Moments of happiness. Moments when I was at peace.
Of course, I also had moments (or longer) of panic. Mainly when I had to drive home from my friend’s house in the dark and my phone wouldn’t connect with Maps. The reason I panicked was because I’ve had to drive without Maps help before and I got so lost and panicked and angry and…and…and…. so I came into this latest instance of driving home at night already nervous.
At that moment, I was waiting for Maps to help me get home. What I was really waiting for was somebody to take care of me, to tell me things would be fine, that I would get home fine, wouldn’t get lost, that everything was okay. None of that happened.
I finally drove back to my friend’s house and her husband got my phone working with Maps. They wanted me to stay the night and head home in the morning, but I knew I had to go. I had to overcome this fear paralyzing me. I had to drive home in the dark and not get lost, not panic.
Well, I didn’t make it without some panic. Maps and I don’t communicate well at times. Most of the times. Every time I go to their house, Maps tried to take me into a Military Base. Not where I want to go and not when I’d have to say, “Oh, sorry, Maps wanted me to come here, but I really didn’t want to.”
But, the bottom line is that I found my way to 64 and home. My panic was for naught as they say. (Hypothetical ‘they,’ whoever they are.)
But back to the question. There was a question right?
What am I waiting for?
Let me think on it.
Thanks, Embeecee, for your participation. I love learning about other bloggers.
I’ve missed several (well maybe three) ‘Questions o’ the Day’ and so today will catch up on that. Here are the links:
(Question from the 12th):
and from the 11th:
Contrary to the norm, I didn’t take any pictures yesterday. I did video my welcome home from my dog and one cat. Mostly blurred puppy.
I normally walk during a break at work, but did the stairs instead, so no chance of pictures there. Interesting pictures anyway.
As for the walk with the dog, no chance for pictures! She moved so fast that if I try to stop for a second, she almost pulls me off my feet. She is a Mini Pin so you’d think I would be in control of stop and go. No, she just runs to the end of the leash and doesn’t stop, even when she bounces. (Just joking, but she would choke herself if I didn’t keep an eye out.)
Love that fuzzy little girl!
Athling2001 has some nifty answers; me? Not so much. I realized recently I’m stuck in a rut.
An on-line friend is going to the U.K. (England, Scotland, Ireland) this summer, and I thought that might be a new thing to try.
(read more at Question 7)