I Am Focused.
TODAY’S BRAVE ACT
Today, pay extra attention to simple tasks you do every day:
When you take a shower, notice how the water flows down your skin; notice the temperature, the pressure, and the sounds of individual droplets.
When you are sitting, just as you are now, catch yourself slouching, sit up straight. Sit with alertness and intent. Take a deep breath, and let it all go.
When you get in bed tonight, listen to your heart. Just beat, after beat, after beat. Grateful it’s always working hard to keep you alive even though you don’t ask it to.
By staying focused during mundane tasks, we strengthen our willpower to focus on our larger goals.
TODAY’S JOURNAL PROMPT
Something I’ve achieved that I might have previously thought impossible …
Something or someone that will get 100% of my attention today …
To be honest, I have achieved so many things I never thought possible. Sometimes just getting up out of bed and carrying on seems impossible, but I do it. Then I think of all the things I have achieved over my lifetime not the least being finding my freedom from the cage of Aspergers and Bi-Polar.
I never thought I would be able to do anything on my own. I was terrified of anything new, including any place new. I couldn’t go on my own and I thought I would never be able to function on my own.
That’s probably why I got married so quickly. I needed somebody to depend on, somebody to protect me from the world because I couldn’t image living on my own. For years, I was afraid to leave the marriage because I didn’t think I could make it on my own. If we were struggling so badly with two salaries how did I ever think I would make it alone on one?
Turns out that hope was wrong, but if I hadn’t made that choice, I wouldn’t be where I am now. I finally did make that decision to stop drowning in the marriage and strike out on my own. Well, sort of on my own. I had two high-school/college aged kids tagging along. And they are still tagging but that’s for another day.
I remember the first time I ever used a map to forge off the known road and into the unknown. It wasn’t because I got this sudden sense of ‘Wow, I want to strike out on my own.’ No, it was because I had to. I was going to my Ex’s house (before he was my Ex) for the weekend and there had been a wreck on the road. I could either sit there for hours and wait or take out the map (this was before GPS) and find another way.
Honestly, I mostly followed another car doing the same thing, but I was proud of myself regardless.
I remember shopping with my Mother. She wanted me to get some clothes but I didn’t know what I wanted. I couldn’t make a decision. Literally, I couldn’t make a decision. I didn’t know who I was or why I was or what lived deep inside me. I actually thought nothing lived inside me.
The point is, she was picking out what she liked for me. I knew I didn’t like what she wanted me to get but I didn’t have the ability to decide on my own. Not knowing who I was and all.
So, I stood in the dressing room and had a breakdown. I felt….totally alone, as if I didn’t exist. This was before I knew about the Aspergers and Bi-Polar. I just thought I wasn’t a real person.
But it was that moment when I realized that I could either fight for who I wanted to be (not knowing who that was) or accept defeat and live my life not knowing who I was or what was inside me. I never thought I would come to that moment, or to the similar moment when I told my Ex to just go. I could either break away at that moment or let myself drown for the rest of my life.
I chose the chance to have a life. I never imagined I could make that decision. Never imagined I could make it on my own.
Now, I look back and wonder how I survived growing up and being married.
But because I did, I’ve lived and learned so many wonderful lessons. Now, I can’t imagine living without my freedom.
I know I still have lessons to learn. And, frankly, I wouldn’t want it any other way.
When I decide to give something my undivided attention, powerful emotions are created that inspire brave action. What’s great is I always have complete control on where and how I direct my focus. Having a clear desired outcome and consistently focusing on it immediately changes my behavior, giving me the momentum I need to take daily actions that will lead to profound results.
1706 NE Weidler St
Portland OR 97232