Okay, late, but then I do seem to be late to holiday greetings fairly often. I hope to do better, but don’t hold your breath.
Linus: [writing] Dear Great Pumpkin, I am looking forward to your arrival on Halloween night. I hope you will bring me lots of presents.
Linus: Each year, the Great Pumpkin rises out of the pumpkin patch that he thinks is the most sincere. He’s gotta pick this one. He’s got to. I don’t see how a pumpkin patch can be more sincere than this one. You can look around and there’s not a sign of hypocrisy. Nothing but sincerity as far as the eye can see.
It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown is my favorite Halloween book of all times. Having kids meant we got all sorts of Halloween books – Pumpkin books, ghost books, witches book, monster books. All cute and funny, but not the Great Pumpkin. If you have never read the book or seen the TV show, you needs to attend to that loss right now.
You wouldn’t want to miss the Great Pumpkin now, would you?
Linus is my favorite Charlie Brown character. Most times, he is a wise man in a child’s body. Other times, as with the Great Pumpkin, he is a little boy clinging to his belief even in the face of his friends laughter and teasing. That, after all, is what faith is, right? The inner knowledge which allows one to believe in something magical or religious even in the face of laughter and/or guns. Or both.
I know the Great Pumpkin isn’t real. We all know that. I think even Linus knows that truth but he still keeps the faith each year, sitting in the Pumpkin Patch waiting – believing – this time the Great Pumpkin will come.
I like the thought that somewhere a little boy is waiting in a dark pumpkin patch every Halloween, waiting for this miracle to rise up before him and reward his faith. How many of us could do that year after year when the miracle never arrives?
If, by chance, in your holiday travels, you come across a small boy with a blanket sitting in a pumpkin patch on Halloween, say hello for me. Tell him, if he keeps the faith, – if we all keep the faith – something magical just might happen.
And who’s to say there isn’t a Great Pumpkin after all?
and just for a chuckle….
Happy Mother’s Day to Mothers everywhere.
My Mom, my sister and myself.
My sister and her son.
Great Grandma holding my oldest for the first time.
Day Two of Christmas Horse pictures!
Have you ever been walking along the road, seen a path heading into the forest, and wanted – just for heck of it – to follow, thinking it might lead somewhere rare and magical. I do. In fact, I was doing so yesterday during my at-work-walk. I wondered what it would be like to just step into the woods and disappear.
No, worries. I am not going to disappear. I’m not brave enough for one thing, but the desire is there, singing in my heart, calling me to step off the safe road and onto, and into, the unknown. Why do I think that if I just follow any of these paths, I might just have found my wardrobe?
Do you ever feel this?
We all long for the rare and magical, especially when our lives seem so dull and dreary, so bogged down in petty details and endless duties. Who hasn’t wanted to step into another world to find the adventures missing in their ordinary lives. Maybe you want to step into a bodice-ripping romance, a fantasy quest, or exploration deep into outer space.
These urges, these dreams, are what life is about. We dream to achieve.
So what am I dreaming into my life? I hope financial security and love and (mostly) free time, but is hope enough? Hoping is wishing. Wishing is what we do when we are afraid to dream, afraid to take the chance of asking for what we want.
I can long to step off the road into the unknown for the rest of my life without ever managing a single step. It is all up to me. To dreaming instead of wishing, hoping and pretending we don’t want what we want.
How does this relate to yesterday’s Christmas Tree dilemma?
I was saying I asked my adult kids to put up the artificial tree and it is still not up. Also, that I was refusing to do it… well…. because.
The absolute, embarrassing, truth is, I refuse to set up the tree because then I can say how horrible it is that my kids wouldn’t even set up the tree. Does that make sense?
Like I’m testing them, waiting for them to pass or fail and, if they fail, I can say ‘well it wasn’t my job.’
There is something screwed up about my logic, but I realized I have always been this way. Leaving myself an out, just in case. So I can be the one wronged.
I hate this about myself, but it is true.
So what am I dreaming for my life here?
Nothing. I am not dreaming anything. I am wishing for what I want but afraid to ask, afraid to open up in case I am hurt or disappointed. I am afraid to take full control of my life because then there will be no one else to blame if the tree isn’t up. Or the present wrapped. Or the trash out. Dishes washed.
I am doing a disservice to myself and to my kids.
So maybe instead, I disappear into the woods and land up in Narnia. Or Middle-Earth.
Probably not. And, you know what, in those places I’d still have to do dishes and put up the Christmas Tree and take out the trash. It wouldn’t be a different life, just a different place.
But that doesn’t mean, just for an instant, I’m not tempted to see….
I discovered this in my To Post pile and realized I’d forgotten to post it on the appropriate day. So, instead of waiting another year, I decided to just put it out there anyway. Just pretend its February 14 again – at least for a few moments.
If you’d like to read the original post, you can find it here -https://athling2001.wordpress.com/2015/02/15/what-does-valentines-day-mean-to-me/
Having gone back to read what I’d written two years ago about the holiday upon us, I was surprised by the few corrections I needed, or wanted, to make. I know, you expected me to say something deep and profound about love and how my feeling had changed since them.
Sadly, I can’t tell you those things unless I’m writing fiction and today I’m not doing fiction. At least here. Okay, so I feel the same way.
Demi-holiday – check
Commercialized – check
History – check
Why – check
My truth about the holiday – check.
So, you ask, why am I writing yet another post about Valentine’s Day.
To be honest, I’m not sure. Maybe just to review my feeling about the Day and it’s message. Maybe to point out to myself that I am still ‘alone’ and doing fine. Or maybe to make fun so I don’t have to admit feeling so alone.
Better. Happier. That yes, I am meant to find somebody who loves me and doesn’t attempt to control me. Who lets me be myself without feeling threatened. Who trusts me even if he doesn’t understand me.
Boy, I’m asking a lot. Or maybe I’m just one of those people meant to be alone. I love my solitude, don’t get me wrong, my independence, but it seems to frighten other people away (i.e. men).
Or maybe I just want to bitch awhile. Whatever. I am alone (if I can say that with two adult children living at home) and I am happy. I am lonely and at peace. I desire – need – my solitude and yet, deep inside, some part of me is afraid to be alone.
While scrolling on Facebook, I get irritated when people talk about their great life and great things they’ve done to ad-nauseum. It’s a kind of envy, I suppose. Why does she/he/it have such a perfect life when all I have to post is stupid cartoons or pictures of horses? Why does everyone around me seem to fall into relationships so effortlessly and I don’t?
So, you can probably guess my view of the day hasn’t changed a lot. By the way, I have to slip to Facebook now to see how my stupid cartoons and horse pictures are doing.
Happy Valentine’s Day!