Reena’s Exploration Challenge – Week 32 4-17-2018

Reenas Exploration Challenge Week 32

I am probably behind this week. For some reason, I wasn’t able to get into the venting and the rage Chris felt. It was too raw, too personal, and the only way I could approach it was through another perspective. So it is missing something deep down at the heart of the story, but I just couldn’t do it.

exploration challenge 32.jpg

Feel free to write whatever comes to mind, in any format. Vent it all out. Breathe free.


The leave on the trees hung heavy with rain, windows misted with condensation as day dropped into night. As grey and dreary as the day had been, inside was heat and fire and pain blazing hotter than the invisible sun.

Words cried loud and hard. Anger and betrayal and a deep down volcanic hurt which never had, and never would, go away.

For the pain on his friend’s face, the pain radiating from every pore of his body, Jay would never forgive her. Wasn’t marriage supposed to work, at least once? Couldn’t one woman love him for himself and not for the money or the fame? Couldn’t one woman tell the truth from the beginning?

He hadn’t seen Chris this upset since he used to sit in hotel bathrooms on tour, smashing tiny china whatevers with a hammer. Or the mirror if the suicidal thoughts were particularly bad. Since his first wife walked out on him because he wouldn’t leave the band for her.

But he said nothing; nothing was needed right then.

Chris kicked a small table, sending it flying. Let loose a string of curses. Used an arm to sweep everything off the sideboard. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! God-damned fucking bitch!” And more, more, more.

Jay knew the tears would come, but not until the rage and betrayal ran it course. As much as his own heart was breaking, he held still.

Chris smashed a lamp against the wall, kicking and throwing and breaking his away across the room until there was nothing left to break except the walls and so he started pounding on them.

Jay quickly grabbed Chris’ wrists, holding him back. All they needed was for Chris to wake out of his rage with broken hands, unable to play. That would mean 24 hours watch, just in case. Away from mirrors and knives and anything else sharp and able to slice skin.

When Chris pulled away, Jay let him go. Back to the wall, curled in on himself, broken. So broken. So god-damned, fucking, broken.

And then the tears.

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

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Reena’s Exploration Challenge Week 31 4-8-2018

Reenas Exploration Challenge Week 31

Welcome again!

Coming straight to the prompt this week ….. Here’s the picture and the lines.

exploration challenge 31

Feel free to write whatever comes to mind – poem, story, free format writing, personal reflections, memoirs, anecdotes — and link up to this post.


Do we leave a bit of ourselves behind in everything we touch, be it pencils, paper, a tree, a chair or even a moment of the day? A place where we’ve been, where the past and present and future collide? When I go somewhere, I can often feel the deep connection to the past. To the people who lived and loved there, to history going back hundreds or thousands of years.

The truth is, we probably do. We are all connected after all, down on the tiniest level, all made of the same stuff. You and I and the table and chair, the flowers in the garden, dogs, horses, everything in this entire world is connected at it’s tinest points.

I once read that the breath I am taking now might once have been Lincoln’s. Or Cleopatra’s. King Arthur’s. Moses. Or Joey’s down the street.

What an awesome thought that I breathe the same air as everybody who came before. That something of their lives remains and will always remain. For me, for my kids, my great-great-great-great grand-kids. (Supposing I have grand-kids at all.) That in their lives, they may breath the same breath which I am breathing now.

So do we leave something of ourselves on everything we touch? Of course we do. Nothing is ever created or destroyed. Just because we can’t always see it, or feel it, doesn’t mean it is not there.

I have my grandmother’s yarn basket in my bedroom and every time I see it, I think of her. Of the part of her which made that basket special to her and now, to me. If only a memory, she is there and isn’t that leaving something behind?

We all die sometime; there is no stopping that truth. But we aren’t gone because so much of us remains in everything which we touched with our lives. I like to think of my kids saving something of mine, whether a picture, a piece of jewelry, a dish or one of my model horses, something important to me, thus making it important to them. Something I have touched, something upon which I have left part of myself.

The past isn’t really past at all, not when everything we touch, everything we cherish, contains little part of us for all eternity.

 

 

Reena’s Exploration Challenge Week 30 4-6-2018

Reenas Exploration Challenge Week 30

Welcome to Week 30!

30 is growing up. 30 is the connecting point between the follies of youth, and a dawning of what seems like maturity. With corporate spans turning shorter, 30 starts a reverse count – how many years more to becoming the CEO? Or where do I go from here, if I am already the CEO? 30 might also see some people raise children, which opens up new perspectives to the world, as one has seen it. Most importantly, the thirties in life raised the question “Who do I want to be?”, rather than “What am I expected to be?”, at least for the older generation.

So, here is an interactive story with a twist. There is no imposed beginning or end. Just a few sentences, which can be included anywhere in your piece ……..

Here’s the challenge, not an easy one though.

You may choose to add a word, a line, a poem or micro-poem, a quote, an anecdote or personal experience or a complete story, a sci-fi or philosophical piece — anything that you feel will make it look complete. I have used a blurred background to signify the freedom to go anywhere. It is not a rigid structure.

Another suggestion – add complexity and leave it for me to decode it – just kidding… you need to turn the tables on me sometime.


“Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four.” For this powerful minority, freedom is the freedom to say two plus two make five

Winston in 1984 by George Orwell


Thanks for the great challenge! I always enjoy your challenges! Here’s my offering.

Time

Past-

Challenge 30

Present

“There are so many different ways we look at time. Time as in clocks – hours, minutes, days. Calendars as in weeks, months, years. Space. Distance. Thoughts. Past. Present. Future. Daylight Saving. Eastern Standard.” Jonathon fell silent at that point, staring off into the distance.

“So?”

“So… what if there were none of those things?”

“No time?”

“No way to measure time. What if,” he paused, looking up, “what if there was no time.  What if the past, the present and the future were all one?”

“Would be a bit confusing, don’t you think?”

“Wouldn’t it be freeing?”

“How are you going to know to go to the doctor on time?”

“Why should I need to go at a certain time?”

“Because…..” Frustrated. “Because they schedule appointments and can’t have everybody showing up at once.”

“But if every time was the same, it wouldn’t matter now would it?”

“Yes! It would. If there was no time then nothing would get done on time.”

“But with no time there wouldn’t be a time for something to be done. Why should there be a schedule? Why should we limit ourselves?”

“You are freaking crazy!”

“Always and forever.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Jon just shrugged, staring back at the barred windows.

“You’ll never get out of here with that attitude.”

“Why should I get out? My past and present and future are the same. I am here and I am not here.”

“Well, I’m glad all of you are here cause you’re all crazy as a bat!”

Danny rose and stormed out, metal door slamming behind him. Jon was his brother, but he’d never been right. It was time he admitted the truth to himself. Jon was crazy. He’d always been crazy. He would always be crazy. Time to wash his hands of the problem.

Future –

Jonathon stared at the bars, soft smile on his lips. He’d always been told he was crazy. Past. Present and most likely, future. Did it matter?

No. He didn’t live in that universe anymore. He was, is, were all at once.

So many ways to measure something which didn’t even exist.

Reena’s Exploration Challenge Week 28 – Slow Thought 3-30-2018

Reenas Exploration Challenge Week 27

Slow Thought Challenge 28

I have read the above about ten times, letting a little more meaning seep in every time. We control the direction and meaning of our lives. In other words, we think our lives into reality, but only if we slow the hectic pace of life so our thoughts can construct the reality for which we wish. No, not wish. Know. We have to know that is what we want. Wishing is just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I know some of you won’t agree with me, but I am talking from experience. If we think “I’ll be happy when I…. reach this goal, make this much money, own this kind of car,” we defeat ourselves. Happiness just is. It doesn’t come in the form of cars or houses or money. If you are waiting to get something or somewhere in order to be happy, you will never be happy.

So much of the time, we live our lives in the extra-fast lane. Jobs, home, kids, a million things to eat away at the space we need to create our lives. We think if life could just be slower, we would be happier. Not so, I am sorry to say.

It is not the slowness of life which makes one happy, but it is the time we have to think about our lives, grateful about what we have, and positive about what we really want in our lives.

I went through a phrase in my life where I lived in the positive and everything fell into place. Parking spots near where I needed to be, raffles won, car problems turning out to need just the turn of a screw or something as easy as that. I also had the ability to plan my life day-to-day, finding that working at a job and working at home with two kids, was easy.

I have, as you might guess from my posts, lost that positiveness. Most of it because of the failure of my marriage and the depression and depth of my despair before I managed to tell him to get out.

I lost it, yes, but I am actively searching for it again. It is coming back as I take the time to breath and to imagine my life.  I have found that if there is something I want, something that I know for absolutely positive will come to me, it does.

So, if you are caught in the whirlwind of  modern life, slow down. Breathe. Think. Imagine. It is amazing how wonderful life can be!