Daily Post Writing Prompt 1-12-2016 – If you could return to the past to relive a part of your life, either to experience the wonderful bits again, or to do something over, which part of you life would you return to? Why?
If I Could Turn Back Time
(Fiction written in whatever voice shows up first)
Turn back time, you say. What would I do? Well, that’s a tricky question….
Not so tricky anymore. I wrote that when I was 15 (a school assignment) and, frankly, I didn’t know shit when I was 15. What’s there to turn back to?
Now….. there is more behind me than ahead. All I can do is wait so something to occupy my brain is a welcome change.
I’ve had a good life. Some won’t believe me. Four Divorces. Widower once. Never could get the love thing right. By the time I knew what I wanted, my reputation was set. The public mask all celebrities wear. Philanderer. Cheater. And those were the nice ones.
So yeah, I had lots of years cheating, but that’s not what I would change. I made a lot of mistakes but each one taught me something, narrowed me down until I finally understood why and how to stop. That I wouldn’t change.
Would I change all the years of suicide attempts? Yes and no. I’d like to forget them, but again, they taught me needed lessons. They taught me how to live bi-polar, on the knife’s edge. Lots of years on the edge.
Drinking. Drugs. I got rid of them early otherwise I wouldn’t have survived the edge. The hospital stays. The weeks of nothing but blankness. The months of running to escape myself.
No, what I would change is the friendships. I’d have more and I’d stop pissing them away. I’d change how I treated them, professionally and personally. I’d cherish them, something I learned far too late.
Yeah, that’s what I would change. If I could…,