October is my favorite month. As a child I loved Halloween more than any other holiday, even Christmas. For a child so rooted in fantasy, Halloween was, and is, a magical day. A day when I was allowed to pretend to be somebody else – in plain sight. Not hiding, no scribbling in the corner, no spinning vast webs of stories only in my mind.
If you can’t tell, I love Halloween. I don’t dress up anymore, that joy was left behind at the threshold of adolescence. Now, I am drawn into the history of the day, fascinated by the darkness behind the traditions of trick-or-treating, jack-o-lanterns, witches and the rest; so many traditions and beliefs deeply linked to my worlds of fantasy.
I got married in October. I couldn’t imagine a better month. My Mom died in October, on my Wedding Anniversary. Good thing I’m not still married and care. Not that it made much difference.
Every year, I promise myself that, during October, I am going to slow down and make the most of every moment. Look at the leaves turning to reds and golds. Take pictures; feed my inner artist with their clors; take an afternoon to wander through the craft store, just looking at things I could do; start Christmas shopping and get all my cards for the Fall ready. Me things.
But each year, October seems to fly by in a flash. I get so wrapped up in the day-to-day details of living that I forget to slow down and take my time, enjoy each day as it comes. Just today, I realized it was October 20th. How did the month fly by so fast? How could I have missed it? How could I have gone another almost month without doing those things most important in my life?
How indeed … in the midst of two weeks of constant car troubles – begging rides or taking the bus – working on how to finance another car…. among all the day-to-day trials of food in the cabinets, dirt and cat throw-up off the carpets, laundry done… and on and on.
I always take the last week of October off, my Get-the-House-and-Yard-ready-for-Winter week. Here’s hoping that I learn to slow down these last two weeks, take time for me, for writing and thinking and just being. Awed by the fireworks of the trees, watch squirrels storing nuts, take care of me instead of the rat-race of the world. Shouldn’t I be allowed? Shouldn’t I know how?
How do you slow down and enjoy each moment in your life?