A Kick in the Heart

‘You do not see things as they are. You see them as you are.

When you look, you see reflections of your being. When you listen, you hear echoes of yourself. If you don’t like something about what you see and hear, no point in smashing the mirror, change who you are becoming.’

I read these words on a day going wrong. It seems like once one bad thing happens, the ball starts rolling, and the bad just never stops. I’m not talking seriously bad here. I am blessed in my life with my health, a home, two healthy sons – happy is an iffy term sometimes – but all in all, my life is good.

This day, I woke late so I had to rush to get ready for work. Fight more traffic than usual because of being late. Rush to sign in and THEN deal with the feel of being behind from the get-go. Ever had one of those days?

When I finally got home, exhausted, I walked into a tornado-wreaked house. Remember the boys? Happy and healthy but totally ignorant of what it means to run a household as a working single parent.

I know what you are saying. Okay, didn’t you talk about this in another blog? Didn’t you say you got it?

I did. And I do. But it’s so easy to forget the truth in the rush and hustle of the world. Instant communication has shrunk the world to the size of a baseball. Do I want to know what somebody on the other side of the world might be eating for breakfast – plus picture? No, not really. Could I spend hours looking anyway?

Yes! Most emphatically, yes!

But when I read the quote above, the words literally kicked me back to the Now, the only moment we can ever really know. I felt like I’d been punched in the heart. In fact, I remember leaning forward as if I had been physically struck.

How, I wondered, could I have forgotten?

The world makes it easy to forget. We are all living in our own worlds, worlds that are as we see them, but that might not be how the world really is. How do I know?

I believe that you encounter the same situations or problems over and over until you overcome them. I can see my ‘situations’ all too easy, but that doesn’t mean I don’t keep falling into the same traps. The world makes us run so fast to keep up that we often forget who we are. Some people forget for a lifetime and I don’t want that to be me.

Am I fallible? Do I do stupid things? Hurt other’s feelings? Let the same kind of people get to me over and over again? Yes, I am. And I do. But I don’t want to be. I want to keep getting kicked in the heart over and over and over until I remember because that will mean I AM changing who I am becoming.

What kicks you back into the Now?