pain

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Learning To Fly 4-22-2021

And days go on. Days counting down slowly and cruelly since I lost one of my best friends. Cindy Bergin, I miss you with every inch and fiber of my being. When I had forgotten how to swim, you taught me how to float, then how to swim again, and then you taught me how to fly.

And how do I go on? Without you, I would have never learned to stand on my own, to walk away when the moments called for it. You taught me self-sufficiency and hope for the future.

Cindy, you were one of the most self-aware and self-sufficient person I have ever know. You lived life to its fullest. How do I go on?

It is hard to put into words what you meant to me and what I know you meant to all your other friends and family. You were a light in the darkness. You were a fierce friend, willing to drop everything in an instant to support your friends.

I enjoyed writing with you. You were wild and free and happy to go to the extremes of the universe. Our ships will never fly again without you. How do I go on?

I remember the first time I met you in person. It was at Breyerfest. I hadn’t even known you collected Breyer horses and then you were coming down to Kentucky. We passed each other by at first, neither of us recognizing the other for a moment. And then you were there and my life began to change for the better.

After that, I looked forward to Breyerfest not only because it was a celebration of the model horses I had collected since childhood, but because you were there. Going home from Breyerfest was like a loss, but there was always next year. Now there are no more next years.

Nine hours is too far to separate friends, but, at the same time, those nine hours meant nothing. We saw each other once a year and yet, no matter how long between times we talked, every time was like we had spent no time apart. How do I go on?

You made me laugh at the world and at myself, but, even more important, you showed me the power of love. You never ended a phone call without saying “I love you.” And I suspect, you ended every call with every friend and family member with those exact same words. How do I go on?

I know, one day, the pain of your loss will fade. It will never go away completely, but it will fade. I will learn how to celebrate your life and live with the emptiness you left in mine. But right now all I have is tears for the loss I will feel for the rest of my life.

Cindy, you were, and still are, a friend of a lifetime. I will never know another person like you. How do I go on?

More importantly, how do we all go on without you?

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Question of the Week 4-21-21

What words or phrase do you need to hear today?

“Everything is going to be all right.”

That’s what I need to hear today. Two weeks ago, I lost one of my best friends. My whole world changed and I need to know that, in the end, things will be okay. My world will keep turning and the empty space in my life will not always be so large and….. empty. I can’t even write about it, the pain is so fresh. So, today, I just need to know it will be all right in the end.

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Reena’s Exploration Challenge 105 9-19-2019

This is a fun weekly writing prompt from Reena Saxena. Give it a try!

On By Reena SaxenaIn Reena’s Exploration Challenge, Writing Challenges

Welcome to a new capsule of time!

We frame seven cycles of the Sun, and call it a week. What if it was longer? Would I be hosting one challenge in a week, or more? Mindless chatter J Let’s jump to the prompt.

PROMPT #105

Wistfulness

The rules of the game are the same i.e. no rules. There is no bar on the length or format of the piece.

Write a post on your blog, and link it up here with a pingback, or copy-paste the blog link in Comments. Tag it Reena’s Exploration Challenge for easy access in the Blog Roll.

LAST WEEK’S PROMPT

Susie Bocks at

Eaten

Joe M. at

https://joem18b.wordpress.com/2019/09/12/poem-23/

Eugenia at

Natural Instincts

Teresa Smeigh at

Reena’s Exploration Challenge – 104

Sadje at

Reena’s Exploration Challenge # 104

Deborah at

https://awisewomansjourney.wordpress.com/2019/09/14/remembering/

Jade Li/Lisa at

Reena’s Exploration Challenge #104 — Oku

Reena Saxena at

https://reinventionsreena.wordpress.com/2019/09/16/drive-the-drivers/

The Bag Lady at

Reena’s Exploration Challenge #104

Indira at

https://amaltaas.wordpress.com/2019/09/16/reenas-exploration-challenge-104/

Len at

The Bluebird of Happiness

VJ Knutson at

Re-Purposing The Garage

 

 

 

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Reena’s Exploration Challenge #86 5-9-2019

This is a fun weekly writing prompt from Reena Saxena. Give it a try!

Reena’s Exploration Challenge by Reena Saxena

Welcome back!

I’ve been busy last week, and there were delays in reading and responding. In case, I’ve missed out on any of your pieces in the links below, please do let me know.

PROMPT

This week’s prompt consists of two words –

BLEEDING EDGE

The dictionary meaning is

the very forefront of technological development.

However, I can visualize many more applications of the word. Go where your imagination takes you.

FOR THE NEW ENTRANTS

There is no restriction on the length or format of the piece. Write a post on your blog, and link it up here with a pingback, or copy-paste the blog link in Comments.

I eagerly await your responses.

LAST WEEK’S ROUND-UP

Hecblogger (Amit Agrawal) at

मरीचिका

Beckie at

“Conserved” (Poetry) Reena’s Exploration Challenge #85

Tessa at

Reena’s Exploration Challenge – 84

Indira at

https://amaltaas.wordpress.com/2019/05/03/reenas-exploration-challenge-85-resilienr-friends/

Rupali Banerjee at

https://reflections451.wordpress.com/2019/05/03/endurance-haiku-reenas-exploration-challenge-85/

Eugenia at

Unlike Elements

Sadje at

Reena’s Exploration Challenge #85 —Being One With The Nature

Deborah at

https://awisewomansjourney.wordpress.com/2019/05/04/a-longing-ache/

VJ Knutson at

Discord

Susi Bocks at

Trapped

Len at

The Sacred Grove

athling2001 at

athling2001.wordpress.com/2019/05/07/reenas-exploration-challenge-85-5-7-2019/

Tanusri Sen at

Save Mother Nature

Indira at

https://amaltaas.wordpress.com/2019/05/03/reenas-exploration-challenge-85-resilient-friend

Helene Vaillant at

One Source

Von Smith at

https://2thinkis2be.wordpress.com/2019/05/08/roots-6/

The Dark Netizen at

https://thedarknetizen.wordpress.com/2019/05/09/flash-fiction-embrace-2/

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Reena’s Exploration Challenge #85 5-7-2019

Reena’s Exploration Challenge by Reena Saxena

When he died, her world cracked, a thousand shards of body shattered like a quarried stone.  It wasn’t she missed him; his hands were rough on her skin, abrasive, his body heavy and hurting, but he was all she knew. Without him, she was nothing. Felt nothing. Belonged nowhere.

Her mind was free, yet her body was not, so long trapped it had forgotten freedom.

I wish, it said, I wish, but no wishes were left.

I long, it said, I long, but no longing was left.

I cry, it said, I cry, but no crying was left.

I die, it said, I die, but there is no dying left.

 

 

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Reena’s Exploration Challenge #83 4-18-2019

Reena’s Exploration Challenge by Reena Saxena

Welcome again, and always to this space, which has become sacred to me! You may not see it in the same manner. And why should you? Each of us has our own unique perspective on the world and its interesting contents.

PROMPT

Picture

Perspective

FOR THE NEW ENTRANTS

There is no restriction on the length or format of the piece. Write a post on your blog, and link it up here with a pingback, or copy-paste the blog link in Comments.

I eagerly await your responses.

LAST WEEK’S ROUND-UP

Amit Agrawal (hecblogger) at

शून्यता

Eugenia at

Unexpressed

Deborah at awisewomansjourney

https://awisewomansjourney.wordpress.com/2019/04/11/a-vacated-ache/

Teresa Smeigh at

Reena’s Exploration Challenge – 82

Michael at

Reena’s Exploration Challenge – 82 – Cyril Rum and the Black Hole.

Len at

Uniformity

Jade Li  at

Reena’s Exploration Challenge #82 and dVerse Villanelle with Slant Rhymes — Black Hole

Sadje at

Reena’s Exploration Challenge #82

Jen Goldie at

https://jengoldie493473930.wordpress.com/2019/04/13/yes-miss-cross-in-response-to-reena-saxenas-exploration-challenge-82-april-11-2019/

The Dark Netizen at

https://thedarknetizen.wordpress.com/2019/04/14/microfiction-our-black-hole/

VJ Knutson at One Woman’s Quest

Black Hole

Reena Saxena at

https://reinventionsreena.wordpress.com/2019/04/15/human-blackholes/

Indira Mukhopadhyay at Sharing Your Thoughts

https://amaltaas.wordpress.com/2019/04/18/reenas-exploration-challenge-82/

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Reena’s Exploration Challenge #76 3-1-2019

Reena’s Exploration Challenge

PROMPT

There is a range of words/phrases to choose from – this week.

  1. Disorientation
  2. Live forward, look backward
  3. You are made of stardust, and to stardust you will return

 

Musings on the Universe

Sputnik Beep

There is something indefinably magical in space. Mankind has looked upwards for centuries, always wanting to know more. Where did we come from? Why does the rain fall? What Gods make lightening? What have we done to make the Gods angry? What are stars made of? How did the universe begin? How will it end? How can we see further and further into a mystery always just beyond reach?

Ancient civilizations had cause to fear the sky. In the modern world, however, we have lost any sense of fear and wonder about that which suspends our tiny planet in the vastness of space and time. The ability for the majority of us to experience the universe first hand is small. Astronauts are heroes because they dare to step into the vastness that has frightened and awed and puzzled mankind since our first ancestor rose onto two legs and looked towards the sky.

Did dinosaurs ponder the wonders of space? Fish? Lions? Horses? Even the small one-celled amoeba? The creatures of this world don’t need to ponder space because they are space. Instinctively, they know their connection to the universe, something we forgot long ago when we chose to divide and accept ‘he’ is different than ‘me’.

So why does the sound of a machine beeping in space open up such a vast emptiness inside me? Awe that, even though the sounds were recorded over 40 years ago, makes me shiver, forces me to admit I, too, am part of the wonder of the universe. Sounds which make me feel something opening inside me in a way I have never experienced before;  connects me to the universe in a way I never imagined possible.

I am, you are, every living thing in this world and beyond, not to mention rocks and chairs and books, and computers, are made of starstuff. We see solids when, in reality, the atoms  from which we are made are simply gathered together and pretending to be the solids called ‘me’ or ‘you’ or ‘Fido.’ The same as a star 40 million light years away is pretending to be the solid called ‘star.’  I am ‘me,’ but I am also Sputnik, forty years ago, sending the sounds of infinity back to the’ me’ on earth listening this very moment.

What awe would fill this world if we all understood, down to the tiniest particle of our being, that we aren’t different.  We are all made of the same stuff as the stars. We all feel that deep instinctive pull towards knowing, understanding, who we are and where we belong in this infinite universe.

Perhaps that is what the beeping of Sputnik reminds us. Somewhere out there, beyond our sight, in the blackness both outside and inside us, there is an emptiness we all understand – loneliness, fear, death –  but we do not need to be afraid. We are one. No matter the vastness between the stars, or between two neighbors, there is always a bridge, always a connection of starstuff binding us together.

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Reena’s Exploration Challenge – Week 73 2-7-2018

Reena’s Exploration Challenge

The theme for this week is

ONE MINUTE

The words need not appear in your piece – but the spirit of that unit of time, what it can do to change things, or why it does not matter to us should be there. There are clocks which show arcs of five minutes, time schedules are often set as 7:05, 7.10. 7.30 – not giving one minute any importance. It is all of sixty seconds, but what is a second or millisecond? One breath in life, eye contact, blink of an eye, whatever you can think of……

Here is a video to aid thinking… it is 7 seconds more than a minute

Life Changing Road

 

“Time,” he said, “really isn’t time.”

“You see, there is no such thing as time. Time is a notion that man, in all his infinite wisdom, invented to keep track of his world. Have to be at the office by 7:00. Dinner by 12:00. Home by 5:00. How else is man going to know what to do and where to go without time?”

“But time means nothing to the universe. The universe doesn’t need to get to the office or dinner or home. The universe is present and past and future all at once.”

“It is man’s time that distinguishes between present, past and future. How are we to know when our flight arrives in Hong Kong if we don’t have time? How do we tick each minute off waiting for a loved one to call?”

“Time is elastic. Going to Grandmother’s house takes forever. Going home seems to take no time at all. The distance is the same. The only difference is our perception of time, something that doesn’t really exist except as space-time, a single point in the universe that is past and present and future all at once.”

“Time doesn’t flow. Time is. And, yet, it isn’t.”

“Tick tock. Tick Tock. Minute by minute by minute. Past, present, future.”

“Time.”